"When in comes to selecting the perfect Ontario apple, you might be surprised to learn that your astrological sign plays a big role in ensuring that you've made the best choice. The Ontario Apple Growers have taken the guesswork out of choosing your perfect apple match by developing applescopes that reveal which variety is most suitable for all 12 signs of the zodiac. And, you'll be happy to know that your ideal apple is available in produce aisles today and throughout the remaining winter months."
Hey baby, I'm an Ontario Crispin. What's your sign?
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